Today I allotted exactly 90 seconds to scan and email a receipt from my copier at work. Of course, I also allowed myself a 30 second “margin” in case I needed extra time. I slid my receipt onto the glass, popped the top down and had a mini panic attack when it didn’t work the first time. Or the second. Now I was completely behind my schedule, with every minute I spent in front of the copier toppling my well-laid plan that would last from 6 AM til editing began at 9PM that evening. I wish I was exaggerating.

This afternoon my children came home and informed me that they have a half-day on Wednesday. Now, according to my book, school has barely gotten up and running. 1/2 day? I thought to myself. 1/2 day?? I’ll be so behind on my work! I’ve got ministry changes and staff meetings and edits and articles and….

This is the secret pain of mother leaders. We deceive ourselves that we have created enough margin for lives that always run wildly above the speed limit. This, however, is not a post of condemnation. I cannot condemn my favorite women or myself for dreaming tremendous dreams and actually making them happen. I believe there is an intensity behind all women who’ve influenced my own faith and life, be it Kay Arthur, Ruth Haley Barton, or Carolyn Custis James, even if they live out that intensity a little more, ahem, quietly than I do.

Isn’t this a post about all leaders? Perhaps. But from my vantage point, I see this issue of high-speed living as a particular pain for mothers, those who always have one eye and a whole heart with their children, no matter how old they are.

Last week I caught up with a friend who illustrates this well. How are you, really, I said. She answered honestly (another thing I love about her). She told me she was tired. She’s started preaching at her church; she’s working on edits for her new book; she speaks. She nurtures three children and a home. She’s passionate about sustainability and friendships and mentoring leaders. She juggles it all, and well, but sometimes she’s tired.

Is being worn out a sin? Is exhaustion from ministry just part of the job or the result of leaving God’s perfect plan? I’m not sure about the answers, but I do have some questions I ask myself when I’m feeling like my life is moving faster than I can handle. I’ll share those tomorrow, so until then…

Do you think being exhausted from doing “God’s work” is a sin?