I didn’t even plan this consciously, but today’s Becoming podcast is about expectations in marriage. You’ll want to hear this one, where David Dwight talks about camping trips go wrong and I talk about getting mad at Dave for not cleaning our garage. It’s all about expectations and communicating those unwritten rules between one another. Check it out!
And don’t forget to leave your BEST first date ideas over on Renee’s interview…something for everyone here today! Woop!
I can be a bit of a snob when it comes to teaching. I’m a nerd, from my love of new notebooks to my dogeared books to my “idea” journals. It’s a big deal to me when I actually like someone’s teaching. Over time. For YEARS. So I think my pastor for the last 14 years, David Dwight, is pretty special when it comes to his insights into scripture, his thoughts on leadership, and his counsel on relationships. And I’m pumped that I can share some of that with you! We’ve started a new joint venture, that mostly involves me trying to get David to laugh (or laughing at myself) in between gems of wisdom on all of the above topics.
It’s a 15 minute weekly podcast called Becoming. It’s free. Check it out. The first set of podcasts cover such things as growth & pain, expectations in relationships, and handling criticism. And tweet me or comment here if there’s any questions or topics you’d like to see discussed in our next series of podcasts! Hope you like it. 
P.S. That sweet intro music is courtesy of Tyler Crowley, Hope’s own worship leader and all-around ridiculously talented dude.
You know what I hate? Wasting stuff. I hate wasting time, but I just sat here mindlessly reading my Twitter feed, as if knowing one more person loves Downton Abbey (which I haven’t seen) is going to help me start this blog post. Plus, now I have one more show that I must find time for.
I hate wasting money, yet there is a hot purple cropped jacket with gold threads in it hanging in my closet. At what point I thought I’d be wearing that thing out, I’m not sure. I was possessed at the store, and spent ninety seconds daydreaming about some other life where that purple cropped jacket would have been absolutely necessary. I have never worn it.
I hate wasting food, but I regularly scrape enough food into the trash to feed the entire village in Burkina Faso (where my Compassion kids live). Oh, and by the way, my scraped food flies into the trash and makes its home on top of numerous recyclables, because although I hate killing the earth, apparently I’m too busy checking my twitter feed to actually recycle. And for the record, stuffed peppers are gross. I probably wouldn’t feed them to my Burkina Faso children anyway.
Even the Apostle Paul can relate:
“I do not understand why I insist on spending decades of my life on Facebook or checking my phone like someone’s heart will stop beating if I DO NOT CHECK MY EMAIL before bed. I do not understand why I have twenty-two handbags or a pantry full of food that no one eats or enough trash to create my hole in the ozone. For what I want to do (be peaceful, be present, be loving, be kind) I do not do, but what I hate to do–I DO.” Romans 7:15, Nicole version.
If you think I’m crazy, don’t read Seven: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess. But if you can relate, hold onto your recyclable trash, ladies. We are going on a journey that just might change your life.
Seven, by Jen Hatmaker (who might be the funniest Christian on the planet), after struggling with her own love/hate relationship with our consumer culture, decided to do something about it. Seven chronicles her own journey with tackling seven wasteful areas in her own life:
Food. Clothes. Spending. Waste. Stress. Possessions. Media.
Over the course of seven months, Jen committed herself (and sometimes, her family) to reducing or eliminating one area of waste in her valiant-but-not-perfect attempt at tackling rampant consumerism. If you’ve ever felt like living in our culture is a soul-sucking vacuum that you can’t seem to escape, you must read this book. And if you are likely to read the book, think it sounds like a great idea, and then promptly forget about it, then do this: read the book with me.
Beginning next week, a small group of friends and myself will be journeying through Seven, and we want YOU to join us. We’ll take one area of excess and tackle it for one week. So hurry up! Buy the book here. We will start with the first area Jen tackles: food. We’ll all adjust the “plan” to suit our own conviction, as Jen’s own friends, nicknamed “the counsel” did. More on this to come. But if you are looking for a book that doesn’t just entertain or inspire you, but actually sparks a change–then read Seven with us. You’ll find support (and much complaining, I’m sure) here! Even better: I’ll pick two people who commit to our group to win the book for free. If you are “in”, leave a comment telling us what area of life you are most interested in changing. I’ll pick a winner by Wednesday (so the rest of you people can hurry up and buy the book).
For more on Jen Hatmaker, visit her webpage or find her on Twitter. You’ll be glad you did.
Where I’m speaking this week: Woven Luncheon on Nov. 11th (if you are in town, would love for you to come too!)
Best Spiritual Food for Thought: Alece at Grit and Glory on “reaping and sowing.”
Best Thing I’ve Read on Women’s Ministry in a while: Her.menuetics blog on “Why It’s Your Job to Break the Women’s Ministry Stereotype.”
Most Provocative New Documentary: Miss Representation. (click here to watch, the video’s a bit graphic so use your discretion.)
Great Leadership Advice: Jenni Catron on Being Popular or Being A Leader.
Book that made me both laugh out loud and weep: Ian Cron’s “Jesus, My Father, the CIA and Me” I highly recommend it.
Tweet that makes me think:
YouTube Video that makes me laugh out loud:
Do you have any favorite (thoughtful, spiritual or random) links to share?
The Help is the last book I read that kept me up until 3AM. Once I started reading, I couldn’t stop. I recommended it to everyone. I loved the message of relationships that transcend the “norm” and women courageously living.
Over Christmas, my uncle was visiting from Northern Virginia. He looked at my fridge, checkered with Christmas cards from freezer to floor. First he said, “You have a lot of friends,” (well, thanks Uncle Dave). Then he said, “are you all trying to revive an Aryan nation?” Low blow, Uncle Dave. But, well, I looked at the fridge where every single face smiling back at me was white. Most were blonde. I tried to convince myself that white people with blonde babies just like to send Christmas cards, but the reality was I have very few friends of any other color. I don’t like that.
I prayed, in January, that God would help me find ways to change that.
So when my friend Natasha asked me to enter into a blog-dialogue on The Help and race, I had to say yes. I’ve always prided myself on my military upbringing that exposed me to many different classes and cultures. I never went to an all-white school. But yet, here I am raising my kids in what has to be the whitest corner in Richmond, VA. Something about that doesn’t sit right with me. Maybe I’m closer to the white side of The Help then I’d ever like to admit. Tonight, I’ll go see The Help with some friends. And next week, Tosha and I will share our conversation, about being white, being black, our churches, our cultures, and what, if anything, we need to do about it.
Here’s The Help trailer:
Also, check out Natasha’s article reviewing the movie for Her.Menuetics. And then consider this: how do you think your race effects the way you perceive the story of The Help?
Tomorrow I leave to head off for a two-day retreat to kick off our summer intern program at Hope. The purpose of our time away is to become a team for the two short (but packed) months we’ll share together.
Anyone in leadership knows that taking on full-time staff is a huge shift in roles. We will grow from a small team into a legitimate “department” as these seven interns give their hearts to our student ministry with camps, a mission trip, college ministry, and plenty of crazy fun. But what I’m most excited about is joining with these twenty-somethings as they deepen their faith, stretch their leadership and explore their call to ministry. I can’t think of something I love to do more than join them on their journey, providing whatever guidance I can along the way!
One of the things I’m getting excited about is having them fill out Myers-Briggs Inventories so we can talk about how our personality affects our team behavior and work habits. I’m reading a great book and preparing their inventories for tomorrow!
I wonder: do you know your Myers-Briggs Personality Type? Which one are you? D you think it describes you? (you can take the test here or read more about the types here.)
Today’s Lenten Blog Tour post by the Common English Bible is such a great reflection on Palm Sunday, so you should check it out. The writer, Tony Johnson, shares his reflections on why Jesus rode in on a donkey and not a “Steed of Steeds”….and why we should be committed to being donkeys. Here’s a little excerpt:
I am committed to being the best Christ carrier that I can be. I picture myself with a long flowing mane, an awesome diamond studded saddle (one where the diamonds spell out, “You wish you were this cool”), and I would be a beautiful, almost glowing white. I would be tall and fast likeMan o’ War was. The muscles of my legs would bulge underneath my skin. I would be like the horse-version of He-Man’s Battle-Cat. Basically…I would be the Stud of Studs…the Horse of Horses…the Steed of Steeds!
Head over to his blog, Lead Follower, to read the rest…
You all know how I love groups.
At one point I think I was in four online writing forums along with my regular assortment of blog readings from faith to photography to decor. I “met” Jill through one of those writing forums, and was so impressed with her vigilance and desire to help us keep our children safe. I ordered her book and loved it, but just hadn’t found the right way to talk about it here on the blog.
That’s where Oprah comes in.
On Friday, April 15, Jill will be on the Oprah show talking about her passion to equip caregivers to teach children to not let the secret of abuse stay hidden.
Friday’s Oprah is about child abuse and the show revisits the case about a boy who was chained in a closet by his father and stepmother. Jill Starishevsky makes an appearance near the end of the show alongside the victim of child sexual abuse from a case she prosecuted 10 years ago. The child, who is now 20 years old, was the inspiration for Jill to write My Body Belongs to Me – a book intended to prevent child sexual abuse by teaching children that their bodies are their own and if someone touches them inappropriately, to tell a parent or teacher right away.
Tune in to ABC at 4 pm EST for The Oprah Winfrey Show and go to http://www.MyBodyBelongstoMe.com to learn more about the book. For tips on how to keep children safe from child sexual abuse, watch this interview with the parenting correspondent from Good Morning America.
I’ve had an extra copy of this incredible children’s book on my shelf, waiting to give it away to someone who needs it. If that someone is you, email me at nicoleunice (at) gmail (dot) com. Include your address. If you’re the first to email, I’ll send you the book. The rest of you should order one, because this is a topic every parent should address.
So, I’m not such a fan of submission, when it comes to anything. Traffic signals, waiting in line, people’s rules, God…just doesn’t come that easily. So in 2009 when I blogged spiritual disciplines for a year, I learned alot in my submission month, like about not getting my way at the Atlanta Aquarium.
Just about two years ago, a new digizine (that’s digital and magazine combined for you non-geeks out there) started. It replaced Today’s Christian Woman. The new name was Kyria and I loved the idea of a thoughtful, deeper place for women seeking God. I, being the geek I am, wrote to the founder and editor and offered my novice-but-excited writing for them anytime they wanted it! With lots of exclamation points!! Because God is awesome and I write about it!!! And I just blogged about spiritual disciplines for a year and have lots to share!!!!
They didn’t write back.
Two years and a wandering path later, I find myself writing an article for Kyria about submission. I find myself doing the very thing that I imagined I could do. I sit down to write an article about submission and I think I hear God chuckling, as he shapes me into the image he’s working out. He moves kind of slow (in my humble opinion) but his hand is steady and his work is sure.
And P.S. this wasn’t supposed to be a heart-spilling post, but whatever. I just wanted you to go check out Kyria because this month’s articles are amazing. And I’m in there, but I’m in like the VIP section that you have to pay a cover charge for. So pay your money and print this digizine out, and then you can pretend I’m in magazine instead of a digizine. But watch the video I made first, because that’s not printable. This is getting long winded. Just check it out.
I’m not going to surprise anyone with this mind-blowing statement:
I like words.
I like nicknames.
I like slogans.
I like mantras.
And I love quotes.
Quotes from my friends, like when Kristy coined a term for a game we ran for youth group together: “Do It Now, Do It Right.” Or, when we both bombed at leading said game, “Do It Later, Do It Wrong.” Just six little words, and I erupt in laughter because it evokes an immediate feeling of joy in doing ministry together.
I love quotes from Augustine like “God gives where he finds empty hands.” Or from Francois Fenelon: “agree with Him in all things–even those you cannot understand.” Or Henri Nouwen “waiting is a dry desert between where we are and where we want to be.” Or from Nancy Guthrie, when defining submission: “giving ourselves over to the goodness of God.”
These words are joy. These words are life. Friends who I know and love and delight in, and writers who speak into the deepest places of my heart, pointing me toward words that I could not find without them. And so I share some of them with you, and ask you to share with me:
What are some of your favorite words?
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