I Can Define Digizine

Written by on March 16, 2011 in RESOURCES, spiritual disciplines - No Comments

So, I’m not such a fan of submission, when it comes to anything. Traffic signals, waiting in line,  people’s rules, God…just doesn’t come that easily. So in 2009 when I blogged spiritual disciplines for a year, I learned alot in my submission month, like about not getting my way at the Atlanta Aquarium.

Just about two years ago, a new digizine (that’s digital and magazine combined for you non-geeks out there) started. It replaced Today’s Christian Woman. The new name was Kyria and I loved the idea of a thoughtful, deeper place for women seeking God. I, being the geek I am, wrote to the founder and editor and offered my novice-but-excited writing for them anytime they wanted it! With lots of exclamation points!! Because God is awesome and I write about it!!! And I just blogged about spiritual disciplines for a year and have lots to share!!!!

They didn’t write back.

Two years and a wandering path later, I find myself writing an article for Kyria about submission. I find myself doing the very thing that I imagined I could do. I sit down to write an article about submission and I think I hear God chuckling, as he shapes me into the image he’s working out. He moves kind of slow (in my humble opinion) but his hand is steady and his work is sure.

And P.S. this wasn’t supposed to be a heart-spilling post, but whatever. I just wanted you to go check out Kyria because this month’s articles are amazing. And I’m in there, but I’m in like the VIP section that you have to pay a cover charge for. So pay your money and print this digizine out, and then you can pretend I’m in magazine instead of a digizine. But watch the video I made first, because that’s not printable. This is getting long winded. Just check it out.

Quotables…

Written by on February 9, 2011 in RESOURCES - 4 Comments

I’m not going to surprise anyone with this mind-blowing statement:

I like words.

I like nicknames.

I like slogans.

I like mantras.

And I love quotes.

Quotes from my friends, like when Kristy coined a term for a game we ran for youth group together: “Do It Now, Do It Right.” Or, when we both bombed at leading said game, “Do It Later, Do It Wrong.” Just six little words, and I erupt in laughter because it evokes an immediate feeling of  joy in doing ministry together.

I love quotes from Augustine like “God gives where he finds empty hands.” Or from Francois Fenelon: “agree with Him in all things–even those you cannot understand.” Or Henri Nouwen “waiting is a dry desert between where we are and where we want to be.” Or from Nancy Guthrie, when defining submission: “giving ourselves over to the goodness of God.”

These words are joy. These words are life. Friends who I know and love and delight in, and writers who speak into the deepest places of my heart, pointing me toward words that I could not find without them. And so I share some of them with you, and ask you to share with me:

What are some of your favorite words?

Can Small Groups Work?

Written by on January 25, 2011 in Daily Life With Jesus, RESOURCES, women's ministry - 5 Comments

I hate isolation.

In my counseling days, I would often meet someone struggling through life alone. Their obstacle wasn’t insurmountable, it was insurmountable alone. People need a hand to hold them up, a shoulder to cry on, another soul to laugh and cry with. I think nine out of ten people I saw in counseling didn’t need counseling. They needed community.

I would think to myself, “if only this person was in a church family or a small group that would love them.” 

In a perfect world, community would be supportive and healing. Community would be a place where one is welcomed, baggage and all. Community would be the church.

The intersection of lonely people with my own call to ministry has me wrestling with these questions alot. Who’s responsible for community? How do hurting people find community? How does the church offer it? Are some people too “broken” for a small group? Are some small groups too “broken” for people?

Things I’ve read over the years gnaw at me, wondering if there really is a solution. In 2007 I read a Gifted for Leadership article about “Why I Don’t Do Women’s Ministry.” The author talked about how she also felt different and unwelcomed at ministry events. She wondered why women’s ministry had to be shallow and one-dimensional. I’ve felt some of the same things. I’ve wrestled with why we do women’s ministry, how we do it, what works, and how to make it life-giving. And I still hope for more out of the church.

Then I read this article about small groups last week over at Deeper Story. The author touched a nerve with stories like this:

“I’ve sat in far too many prayer groups where “sharing requests” devolved into sanctified gossip fests, bless her heart. Or else I’ve sat through small group sessions where dominant personalities take over and it becomes more about spiritual posturing and one-upmanship than genuine fellowship. I’ve attended women’s retreats where the theme might as well be: How To Smash Yourself Into This Tiny Box Called Biblical Womanhood.”

The article is followed by comments—many comments–from women lamenting their inability to find a real group of women who will love one another well, hold confidence, and not play Mrs. Fix-It. I did what any good researcher would do a posted a Facebook question about others’ experiences. Here’s one of the comments:

“and i can soo relate to needing a group for those who have survived church. i dont go anymore..sad to say..and like this woman, i am afraid i would just bring my baggage of bitterness…but i do want community and to relate..”

Which gets me right back to my original head-spinning thoughts. If community is what we need, why don’t we find it? What is my responsibility as a Christian? If I’ve been in a healthy, healing small group, should I be part of the change and lead another? I feel a little bit like the disciples who wanted to understand why a man brought to Jesus was born blind. “Who sinned,” they said, “this man or his parents?”

I think painful small groups and isolation and loneliness and the church failing to be the church have me asking Jesus the same question. Who sinned, Jesus, that this person can’t find life? Who’s fault is it? Where’s the problem, Lord? And most importantly, to me at least, what’s the solution?

Jesus responds to his disciples: “Neither this man nor his parents sinned but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life.” (John 9:3).

I wonder about  God’s work when people are hurting people in Jesus’ name. I so desperately want the church to be a place of come-as-you-are healing but if I’m honest, I don’t know how willing I am to stretch myself be part of the change. I want Jesus to come back and make a whip and clear some of this nonsense out of the way of his bride, the people he loves, the church.

But we are the problem. And God is the answer. So until the day when this will all be over and all wrongs will be made right, we wait, we hope, we try again. We choose to be part of the church, in the sense of the larger, world-wide, time-spanning community of Jesus-followers. We seek God. We ask him to comfort us when we hurt, to convict us when we sin. We ask him to give us passion for whatever he calls us to do, from leading a small group to trying (again) to find life in community to speaking up when we’ve been hurt to forgiving again and again to believing, believing, believing that He has not forgotten his church.

Am I the only one who wrestles with this? Can (and should) everyone find life in community?

 

A few choice words….

Written by on January 17, 2011 in Causes, RESOURCES - No Comments

“A nation or civilization that continues to produce soft-minded men purchases its own spiritual death on the installment plan.”

“The question is not whether we will be extremists, but what kind of extremists we will be… The nation and the world are in dire need of creative extremists.”

“He who passively accepts evil is as much involved in it as he who helps to perpetrate it. He who accepts evil without protesting against it is really cooperating with it.”

“Nonviolence is a powerful and just weapon. which cuts without wounding and ennobles the man who wields it. It is a sword that heals.” 

There are some men who leave a legacy that’s exponential. And when I read the words of Martin Luther King, I am inspired–no, convicted, stirred, impassioned–to live larger. To be more courageous. To speak out. To act. And so today, as I read these words, I ask myself: how will I serve others in 2011? How will I speak out for the speechless, work to break the chains of slavery and oppression that continue to this day?

And I ask you: How will YOU use your influence, power, creativity,

intelligence, wealth–to serve others?

“Rarely do we find men who willingly engage in hard, solid thinking. There is an almost universal quest for easy answers and half-baked solutions. Nothing pains some people more than having to think.”

 

…and I’m indebted to Late Enough for finding this great clip of MLK making a joke about airplanes. (if you can’t see it, click here to watch). This clip made me love this man, because in his own words, you can judge him by the content of his character–and the joy of  his heart.

Vlog: 3 things about your twenties….

Written by on January 7, 2011 in Hope, RESOURCES - 6 Comments

Hey all, here’s a video recap of a talk I gave this week at Hope regarding the twentysomethings.

Question for you: (if you are in your twenties): what’s the most challenging part of this stage of life?
(if you are anything else): what’s one thing you’ve noticed about the twentysomething generation?

Quick Monday Thoughts

Written by on December 13, 2010 in RESOURCES - 2 Comments
  • With all the shopping, baking, and parties, I have no time to actually feed my children. They are so excited to live on pizza from the freezer and crackers with cream cheese. It’s kind of a win-win (other than the nutritional deficits)

 

  • Today I get to spend all day cooking and preparing my home to host our entire volunteer youth staff for dinner and discussion on plans for the new year. Have I mentioned I love my job?

 

  • Tomorrow is our teeny-tiny group reunion. My question for the girls is a twist on the old New Year’s Resolution question: what’s one thing you’d like to change in the next three months, and one thing you hope for yourself in the next five years? Can’t wait to hear their answers!

 

  • A highlight of 2010 was the release of The Divine Pursuit. Interacting with readers via the online group and getting to share lives with so many via God’s word was incredible…so incredible that I’ll be hosting two more LIVE chat groups this January. So this week I’m offering the printed guide at a special discount…$7.50 with shipping. Here’s the top-secret discount page! (or sign up for the online group)

 

  • I’m still stuck on my New Years’ resolution question…how about you? What’s one thing you’d like to be/do in the next three months, and something you hope for in the next five years?

Living as a Woman Homeless: Questions for Author Arloa Sutter

Written by on November 16, 2010 in Causes, Guest Bloggers, RESOURCES - 16 Comments

Passion.

Focus.

When I notice these two things in one person, I am immediately drawn to them. There’s something about a person of passion and focus that inspires me to press on, to keep hoping and working for change in my heart and in the world.

So when I read Arloa Sutter’s The Invisible, a book about her passionate advocacy for the homeless, I knew I’d found a woman who’s taken passion and focus and put them to work. Here’s my questions for Arloa:

#1 You are obviously a busy woman as the founder of Breakthrough Ministries. Why a book? 

I remember when I added that I am a writer to my blog profile. It felt strange but wonderful. I have wanted to write a book since I was a child. Now that I’m older I’ve discovered that I have something to write about. It was a challenge at first to find my voice. But writing is like cooking. The more you do it the better you get at it. Now it has become a passion.  

I wrote The Invisible at the suggestion of Don Cousins, a ministry consultant, who challenged me to write a book because the church needs a deeper theology regarding compassion for the poor.  It took me nearly four years to get it done. The hardest part for me was finding the right structure. I had lots of stories, but needed an outline to put them in that made sense. 

#2 In the book you talk about living as a homeless person for a couple of days. What was the biggest challenge you faced?

Once I discovered where the shelter was and where I could get meals, but I learned I could survive physically, but it was very draining emotionally.  None of the staff or volunteers in the ministries I visited asked me my name or what I needed to get off the street. I felt alone and vulnerable, especially when a police officer asked me for a date and then followed me in the squad car and ridiculed me over the loud speaker. If I were truly homeless who would have believed me if he decided to take advantage of me? I also grew to value things like toilet paper. I learned to save napkins at lunch because there was never any toilet paper in the shelter. I felt what it was like to be invisible standing in a food line. Well dressed people walked by us and didn’t even look at us. It was as if we were behind a one way glass. We could see them, but they didn’t seem to see us. When I returned to Breakthrough I realized how grateful I am that our staff get to know people personally and listen to them. We try to provide real assistance so people can get into a stable living environment.

#3 What do you do when you feel overwhelmed by the needs out there?

We cry a lot at Breakthrough and we pray and mourn together over those who relapse or lash out. We are confronted daily with many very tragic situations. It is important that we are caring for people in community, not on our own. In the book, I describe how I have learned to “be led by the Spirit instead of driven by need.” I start the day in prayer and ask for guidance to know what God wants me to do and not do. I have learned to let go of the need to control my own circumstances and the circumstances of others. We are only called to be faithful and do our small part, but all of us together can make a big difference.

#4 As women, it can be difficult to balance home and work, especially when you work in ministry. What is something you’ve learned from being a woman leader?

When my kids were in school we had a very small staff and we closed the doors at 3:00 PM so I could be home with them. As the ministry has grown we have been able to stay open 24 hours a day 7 days a week, but we each take our shifts. I encourage our staff to make sure they take time off and get away. I love being a mother and I especially love being a grandmother! I can be having a very stressful day and the minute I get those big hugs from my grandkids I am OK!

I think it’s an asset to be a woman in leadership.  It is especially helpful to be a woman working with people who feel vulnerable because we are not threatening to them. We understand what it is like to be ignored and passed over, so we have the ability to empathize and feel deep compassion. Don’t get me wrong. We also need men alongside us who are strong and can defend and protect. We need each other.

#5 On that note, Was there ever a time when your daughters didn’t like your commitment to Breakthrough? How did you help your children understand your heart?

I think they have always been proud of my work with Breakthrough. They each worked for the ministry for awhile and love what I do. They sometimes mention the period of time when we opened our women’s center. It took us awhile to get the right staff in place and they needed to be trained, so I spent quite a few nights at the shelter. The girls were both in high school at the time and seemed to be pretty self sufficient, but I think they missed me being at home with them.

#6 If you could have dinner with one person living or dead, who would it be?

I would like to have dinner with Mother Teresa. I would like to know what kept her ministering to the poorest of the poor while she was experiencing her own fears and doubts. I would like to hear her stories of meeting Christ in them.

#7 If you had an entire day to yourself, what would you do with it?

I try to take one day a month to get out in nature and be alone with God. Nature rejuvenates me. God always meets me in that place.

#8 What’s the first thing you do in the morning? The last thing you do before you go to bed?

The very first thing I do is make my coffee! Then I light some candles, read from the Upper Room, Guide to Prayer for Ministers. I read the passages of Scripture and a few of the meditations. I take time to pray and listen to what God might be saying to me. Usually the last thing I do before I go to bed is talk to my kids on the phone and then read a book until I’m sleepy.  

#9 What’s your guilty pleasure?

I love to surf the net and can spend hours reading blogs, finding what I think is interesting and tweeting about it. I really have to control myself. The hours fly by. (Tweet Up! @arloasutter)

#10 What book are you reading right now?

I just finished reading two books written by women from my writers’ group, to be released in the Spring.

#11 What’s one thing you’d like to see before you die?

Wow! That’s a good question. I want to see the Church alive and involved in working for justice for all people. I want to see people coming together across socio-economic divides to live and worship together in love and understanding.

#12 If we were inspired to do one thing after reading The Invisible, what would you hope that one thing would be? 

I hope you begin to view compassionate care for the poor as an invitation to meet Jesus in them. Like Bono said, “This is not a burden, it’s an adventure.”  I think you will find your faith will grow and you will experience God more profoundly in those places.

 

Thanks Arloa! As if that’s not enough, Arloa would love to give away a book. Leave an answer to this question:

What is one misconception you have (or see in others) about the homeless?

We’ll pick a random person to win! Looking forward to the conversation.

Playing the God Card

Written by on September 23, 2010 in RESOURCES - No Comments

Today I’m posting my monthly column over on Gifted for Leadership, a blog run by Christianity Today for women in leadership. Hop on over and check it out…it’s a great resource of voices, resources and thoughtful discussion on all kinds of issues related to leading!

Have you ever thrown down the God Card? Playing the God Card happens whenever one uses “God told me” as the ultimate justification for a decision that requires group consensus. Picture a meeting about budget allocation or using space in the building or ministry direction, and someone goes “all-in.” They might say: “I really feel like God wants this to be happening.” Or: “God told me we should make my announcement first on Sunday morning.” At best, the God Card is an expression of passion and heart having a difficult time explaining itself. At worst, it’s a manipulative tool, a power play to get one’s way.

I think people use the God Card too much, ministry or not….(keep reading.)

An Interview with Salah Boukadoum, founder of Soap Hope

Written by on August 13, 2010 in RESOURCES - 2 Comments

It’s Soap. It’s Hope. It rhymes. Catchy, huh?

But not as catchy as what’s actually going on behind the scenes. Today we’ve got Salah Boukadoum, founder of Soap Hope, here to talk with us on how we can shop more and save the world from poverty. Awesome. Here’s some of the questions I had for Salah:

How did you get interested in women & poverty?

I learned about problems associated with delivery of financial aid to the poor in developing countries when I was on concert tour in Kenya (I used to be a classical pianist in my first life). I have been interested in the economics of poverty ever since. I believe that the empowerment of women around the world is key to overcoming many of humanity’s global challenges.

Tell us more about Soap Hope’s 100% investment model.

We developed the Good Returns model (investing 100% of profits into sustainable non-profit causes) by ourselves. I love this model because it is something that every business owner can do to make a powerful difference in the world while still creating value for themselves and their families.

What is your “hope” for Soap Hope?

I always tell people to set their sights on the greatest vision for themselves and their community, and then to begin making steps to bring it into reality.  My vision for Soap Hope is to create one billion dollars for anti-poverty efforts – not through Soap Hope alone, but by teaching 1,000 other small business owners to follow our lead.  The numbers work like this: if just fifty small businesses in each of twenty cities in the U.S. follow the Good Returns model, and earn an average profit of $100,000 annually, over a ten year period we will have deployed a billion dollars for women in poverty!  That’s the power of scaling Good Returns across the country.

How do you pick your products?

We wanted to have a company that was Good in every way: all natural healthful products, with minimal environmental impacts, and focused on women customers since the mission is focused on empowering women worldwide. We widen our product offering every month.  Now we sell all-natural soap, hair care, body face, facial care, and most recently all-natural household cleaning products.  Soon you will see all-natural cosmetics and all-natural candles on our site (http://soaphope.com) as well.

Can you give us some specifics about what happens with the profit from Soap Hope?

It only takes $50 to help a woman in a small village start her own business, begin the process of learning to read, and receive basic healthcare services.  With $1,000 you can launch a core team of 20 women that begins the transformation of an entire community.  It’s amazing how little money it takes to make a difference – but there are also a billion people living on less than one dollar a day, so the need is great.

Is Soap Hope faith-based?

Soap Hope is a secular business founded on principles of respect for all people and the desire to help those in need.  We work with any organization that has the same core values, whether the organization is faith based or not.  We teach respect for all people to everyone we work with, inside the organization and outside.


Pulling something off like this takes serious courage and stamina. Where
did you learn to be so bold?

I’ve always been driven to solve problems, and I always encourage those around me to solve the biggest problem they can imagine tackling. If everyone would embrace a sense of urgency to help others, our world would quickly be transformed.

What’s something you’d like to do? Be? See?

I’d like to play the Rachmaninoff 3rd piano concerto with an orchestra on a Saturday afternoon for friends.  I’d like to be the keynote speaker at a Good Returns annual conference and announce the 1,000th member business.  I’d like to see the headline in the New York Times announcing our milestone of deploying “One Billion Dollars Toward the End of Poverty.”

So, tell us your life message in one sentence. (easy, right?) And what’s one thing you’d like us all to know about Soap Hope?
My message is to put aside doubts, set your sights on the biggest vision you can imagine for yourself and your world, and take the first step of action toward that vision right now – every moment.

I’d like readers to understand how important their actions are to the success of Soap Hope and the Good Returns model: Soap Hope works exactly when customers make it work by choosing our products and telling others about us.

Most of our customers find us through word of mouth, so we succeed when people talk about us.  If you love the idea of helping women in poverty just by shopping at the right places, tell people about Soap Hope whenever you have the opportunity – e-mail friends, post on your Facebook, tweet about us often, tell friends in the media, give Hope Pourri as a gift to friends and customers:

Spread the Hope. The Hope in Soap Hope is the end of poverty.

Thanks Salah for stopping by! And I have ordered several things already and LOVE them. My personal favorite: the Pangea sweet lavender & thyme facial cream. It’s awesome and smells divine.

To-Do Lists

Written by on August 12, 2010 in Divine Pursuit, RESOURCES - No Comments

Today I look forward to:

  • playing punchball in the pool with my mom and my kids
  • eating dinner that I won’t prepare (yay for takeout!)
  • finishing the Leader Guide for The Divine Pursuit
  • maybe hiking up to the waterfall behind my parent’s house: beautiful!

What YOU should do:

Sign up for email updates (see top right of blog), or download or purchase The Divine Pursuit. Do it by tomorrow, when I post an interview about Soap Hope, it’s founder, and what she’s doing to help women out of poverty–and I’ll email you a coupon for a free bar of their soap. Mmmmm….free stuff!!

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